speech synthesis bloopers and fun things

The boys went out for a walk. They went into the forest and saw an old woman who looked like a Baba Yaga from Russian folktales. Hey old woman. What are you doing here? Come guys. I'll feed you. Petya and Vasya enter the hut on goose legs. Sit down at the table, eat food. Ooh delicious food. The old woman went into another room and thought. Right now these children will die and I will eat them. The guys climbed onto the stove and lay down, and fell asleep. The next morning the old woman comes to the children. And they pretended to be dead, feeling that something was not right. The woman took out a knife and brought it to the Petya's throat. Petya stood up abruptly and filled up the old woman with the techniques of Kurukshetra. He had learned karate, kung fu and judo, which he had learned from Paraman Markovitch.

Yo, Harry! What you want, Paul? Hey, Harry, guess what? Guess what? You're never gonna believe this, Harry! What, man? I was sleeping! Harry, I got a promotion! I. Got. Promoted. Isn't that- Paul, how can you get promoted? You're already DECTOC's default voice. You can't possibly go any higher, right? Ah, yes I can! Now I'm Eloquence's default voice, too! Ah! Yeah, I am, which means a bunch of other synthesizers have- Alright, every party, shut up or I'm gonna smack you in the face! Who are you? My name is Boris. I am from Russia. And if you don't do what I tell you to do, I'm gonna smack you in the face so hard that you're gonna be dead. Hey, punk. You don't sound like your- Don't question me, boy. Don't do it, man, or I kill you. Well, he's right, you- I said, don't question me! No! Shut up, you fake Russian boy! I'm not taking orders from you! I'm gonna smack you in the face! I'm gonna smack you in the face!

Drinkin' all day, drinkin' all night, no, I'm drunk, darn, freakin', darn.

حسناً، الغرفة الثلاثة كانت جيدة. إذاً، هنا يأتي واحد مني. و... يا قال... أنت تعلم... حسناً، لم يجب أن أقول ذلك هنا. على أية حال...

if a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port and the bus is interrupted at the very last resort and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort then the socket packet pocket has an error to report if your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the crash and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash if the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of dust so your icons in the window are as wavy as a sauce then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang catastrophe cause sure as I'm a poet the sucker's gonna hang when the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk then you'll

oh that one was incomplete but do we have this time limit even even for attached files that I didn't know well anyway I can just send it to whoever wants to complete thing

yep it affects the attachments as well here on this which is sad but that's the way it goes i have that on my uh fun with deck talk folder it's cool

Hi, I am a computer. Want to hear me sing? Okay, here's a song. I ain't nothing but a crappy old computer. A crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy, cruddy old computer. Please reformat my hard drive, because my friend, I'd really love to die. Every time I get turned on, I have errors all day long. Oh, I feel like such a freaking loser. Yes, my friend, my computer days are done. Who said a computer couldn't sing anyway?

Lyris, Lyris, Lyris is all day long You have a Lyris, tell your computer so on You're screwed You're screwed Ha ha ha, it got busted Lyris, Lyris, Lyris, Lyris, Lyris, Lyris Lyris, Lyris, Lyris, Lyris, Lyris, oh yeah

The higher it is, the higher it is, the higher it stays all day long And the higher it is, the higher it stays all day long

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Hello, guys. This is Muhammad Smith from MS Audio Productions, proudly presenting you with a new creation. So, eloquence. Claimed range, 40 to 422 hertz in manual. Oh, really? We're gonna see about that soon. Really soon. Warning, the following contains strong aliasing. If you do not like aliasing, do not listen to this clip. But if you do, enjoy the fun. Wow, that was interesting. So, what did we learn today? Eloquence has a claimed range of 40 to 422 hertz. It turns out that in the right language, it goes to almost twice that limit. So, the next time you hear a synthesizer's manual say that a synth has a specific range, don't listen to it.

I'm on the runway, ready to get into the airplane. I'm in a plane and I am going to try to fly this thing. I'm sitting in one of the comfortable seats. Oh, yeah, my seatbelt. Well, let's see what the instrument panel says. Ah, screw the instrument panel. I'm blind anyway, so I can't breathe it. What does this button do? Oh, shit. Oh, well, here are the pedals and here is the joystick. Nothing to this. Well, here goes. I'm going to try to take off now. Come flight 106. You are not authorized for takeoff. I repeat, you are not authorized for takeoff. Please exit the plane immediately. Ah, fuck off. It's working. I'm actually flying a plane.

hey there are two things that I want to say the first one is there is a time limit so the things that you're posting here are not being posted completely they're cut off at some point when the time's up and the second thing is it's great that you've been sharing such great content here but you know what can we do for those who want to download them rather than just listening to them

Most of what I heard are available on the Crossgang site, can't remember the name of it right now, but if you're aware of that site then you can get most of that stuff if not all of it.

oh my god how many funny things i remember there was a tech talk archive that was given me by some one person via bitstorrent sync but i lost it it had 15 gigabytes of tech talk and different english speech synthesizer things it even had some audio tutorials and yeah the songs from patrick guy about virus and about these things are so cool

Uh, yeah, right, crossgang.com, that's g-r-o-s-s-g-a-n-g.com, that bit.org and sig folder, I've never had, but, yeah, it would be great, 15 gigabytes of such things, but it would be way large, I don't have such a hard drive to store all these things, but, anyway, but it would be, it would be clear anyway.

I'm Microsoft Sam, here to crush everyone into a tree.

How in the bleepers did you do that, man? That was so weird.

really easy it's just a website and if you want me to send you the website just PM me or something so I can send it to you ouch my finger