EltenLink

I've been struggling ...

Back to Community discussions

#1 Urh2006

Hey everyone,
I wanted to open up about something that's been really weighing on me lately. I'm 17, and I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I know that might not sound like a big deal to some, but for me, it feels like I’m falling behind, especially since most of my friends already have or have had relationships. I’ve realized that it’s not just about wanting a girlfriend for the sake of it – I truly want to find someone I can connect with on a deeper level, be happy with, and share experiences with.
A bit of backstory: in primary school, I intentionally didn’t date anyone. I’m someone who hates playing games and pretending to be something I’m not. I always thought I’d start dating in high school when people might be a bit more mature. But when high school came around, I literally just froze. I was so anxious about making the first move that I never even tried. Now I’m in my third year, and it feels like I’ve missed the boat completely. Hopefully, someone can relate.
As a blind guy, I feel like I’m at a disadvantage, especially when it comes to meeting girls and making that initial connection. vDon't get me wrong, I have great personal hygiene, I don't do the usual blindy things like pressing your eyes anymore and I'm really trying hard to fit in. It doesn’t help that I live quite far from my school, which makes it hard to socialize as much as I’d like to. I often feel like I’m caught in a loop – not knowing where to start because I lack experience, and then feeling even more anxious because I haven’t had those experiences yet.
I’ve been feeling really down about it lately, like I’ve missed out on a lot, and I’m worried it’s only going to get harder when I get to university. I keep thinking that if I don’t get a chance to experience dating now, it’ll be too late later on. I’ve started going to the gym, trying to get out of my comfort zone, and even asking my friends to introduce me to new people, but it’s still a struggle.
So, I’m reaching out to you all because I know I’m not the only one who’s faced this kind of challenge. Have any of you been in a similar situation? How did you overcome it? I’d really appreciate hearing your success stories or any advice you might have. I just want to know that it’s possible to find someone, even if it feels like the odds are stacked against me right now.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.


When you're stuck, just try harder.
2024-11-10 12:25

#2 meldorin

hi, the first thing you need to understand is that you are quite young, and the fact that everyone around you already has partners does not mean that you necessarily have to have a partner. however, if you really feel the need to find a partner, you need to stop looking for a partner. usually, if you specifically look for a partner, you worry, fail for one reason or another. just keep talking to people, don't look for a partner, and one day you will have a mutual spark with someone. it was like that for me, well ok, it was in the virtual world :D but it was still there. so my recommendation is to keep looking after yourself, if you don't have any physical flaws like hygiene or figure, then focus on improving your communication and finding and correcting your flaws there, if you want to continue with self-development.



2024-11-12 10:06

#3 Urh2006

thanks, appreciate it.


When you're stuck, just try harder.
2024-11-12 16:36

#4 Urh2006

this might be hard to understand for some but I am in a situation where I'm still in highschool. I believe that if I do not at least get to experience some things in highschool it won't go as well later in life due to lack of experience and I'll struggle much more than I do now. I believe this is called the fear of missing out or something, don't quote me on that one.


When you're stuck, just try harder.
Edited 2024-11-12 16:38

#5 meldorin

well, if you can't do anything, study the theoretical basis. yes, lack of experience is bad, but that's no reason to put a lot of effort into looking for a relationship, in my opinion. most likely, the relationship will find you.



2024-11-13 05:40

#6 djsenter

100% agreed with Meldorin here, don't rush. The more anxiety and worry you attach to finding a suitable partner, the easier it will be to attract the wrong type of girl, or fail in one way or another.


Senter San
2024-11-17 13:47