Split Peas Cook-up for the previous, Hot Dog for the next

chicken
nuggets. i don't really have mutch to say about this one

My dearest son, my treasure, I sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize to you for your fate, which will make you bear, at least until you are eighteen, the cruel and heavy burden of your unhappily chosen name. If I had known beforehand what I did not know, I would have held my vicious tongue and fasted all day. But life is not kind to us, hell no. Life is like a dog and we are its curbs, or as the classic says, life is like a chickencoop ladder. You'll soon find out for yourself, my dearest son, blood of my blood. Is it possible to give a child a worse and stupider name than pork roast with (bun) dumplings and braised cabbage? It doesn't even have a proper English equivalent, and it sounds awful in my native tongue. "Knedlo, vepřo, zelo"... Jesus, that's like three names instead of one, and one is worse than the other. If you were born in Vietnam, your name would be Rice. It sounds weird, but at least it's interesting. If you were born to an American, you could at least be called hot dog. It's not great either, but at least it'd be fun. Or maybe popcorn, that sounds pretty cool. And I like popcorn, so why, for the heaven's sake, did I go to that lunch and why did I listen to the call of those evil demons and start reading that horrible forum on Elten instead of doing something useful? How will I ever make up for your future suffering? But you must promise me one thing, my dearest son, it will be a satisfaction to you after all. When you are of age and able to travel, the first country you must visit is Romania. There is a very ugly vampire living there. You must track her down, visit her when she sleeps and turn her dream into the most terrifying garlic nightmare ever. I'm off to drown my sorrows in alcohol, it's less risky than reading Elten.

I'm going to roleplay as your son for a minute and say that your inability to name things properly, and your romanian vampire x girlfriend sounds like a you problem, thank you very mutch.

Unless there's context that I'm missing of course. Also, My spawn shal forever bare the name, Quick Lunch. Happy Halloween and stuff.

Knedlo, vepřo, zelo came to kill me because I made his dad name him that. Ahhhh mamiiii!

To post 43:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Breathe...
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
There, I think I'm done.

Jesus this one is ridiculously long. Mr. Macaroni Pie, with Lentle Pease and Rice

so, does doctor pepper count?

No, that's a drink.

Pancake

Oh what a name!

Bacon egg and cheese burrito? Um...

Mac and cheese? Cheddar jokes required!

bacon with eggs? No

If someone doesn't like eggs because of the taste and think it smells like a fart, fun could be made that way. Or the kid could be told that they will never be able to bring home the bacon, an expression I've heard for makin money.

Both of those examples are rather cheesy, imo.

Yum, cheese, lol.

Chocolate Croissant

cheese burger

Milanese with purée and toasted bread.