ArcticMoon
#1 ·
5 likes
Sometimes I have to realize just how treacherous we humans can be to one another. How much we depend on each other's opinions, and how much it actually matters what others say about us. Nearly 90 percent of our internal struggles are caused by what people might say behind our backs, how they will judge us, and which words are better left unsaid. And as for writing it down publicly, that's even more of a taboo, because family sees it, friends see it, and people see it who really shouldn't.
For a few months, a kind acquaintance of mine was helping me learn Dutch. I really enjoyed it, but through no fault of her own, she has a temperament that, after a while, I began to perceive as if it were directed against me. It’s an internal glitch; I know perfectly well it’s not meant for me and she doesn’t want to hurt me, yet I was so frustrated by her behavior that I eventually sat down to talk to her about it. I know she can’t change it, and honestly, I wouldn’t even want her to do it for my sake. But I just couldn't continue learning with her like that.
Now, I’ve gathered my strength again to continue my studies. However, I can't even bring myself to start looking for a teacher because, in all the groups I’m in, either she is there, or another old acquaintance with whom I studied Polish for a long time is present. And my relatives see any public posts in these groups. For some reason, I have absolutely no desire to spend months listening to things like "don't even start," "what's the use of it," etc. Even though I’m a grown adult, I know what I’m doing. Or at least, I’d like to believe I do.
So here I am, practically backed into a corner. On one hand, I don’t want to put myself in an awkward position; on the other hand, I shouldn't care what people who have nothing to do with me say. This is when I realize how easily influenced we actually are by others' opinions, and how strong the human instinct and desire to conform really is. We don't even think about it, but at every turn, we're watching who is looking at us and how. What someone thinks of us. What they will say about our actions. Because we have to fit in. In today's world, you can't be "special"... you can't be an "outsider." You have to meet the norm, what the vast majority of society considers acceptable. And if a certain community deems a language useless, then that’s it, you've lost because you're left alone. If another community looks down on you because you're no longer giving them your money, they judge you. Because, after all, what kind of person replaces an acquaintance with a stranger?
How do you all deal with your conscience in situations like this? How do you manage to shut out what others think of you?
For a few months, a kind acquaintance of mine was helping me learn Dutch. I really enjoyed it, but through no fault of her own, she has a temperament that, after a while, I began to perceive as if it were directed against me. It’s an internal glitch; I know perfectly well it’s not meant for me and she doesn’t want to hurt me, yet I was so frustrated by her behavior that I eventually sat down to talk to her about it. I know she can’t change it, and honestly, I wouldn’t even want her to do it for my sake. But I just couldn't continue learning with her like that.
Now, I’ve gathered my strength again to continue my studies. However, I can't even bring myself to start looking for a teacher because, in all the groups I’m in, either she is there, or another old acquaintance with whom I studied Polish for a long time is present. And my relatives see any public posts in these groups. For some reason, I have absolutely no desire to spend months listening to things like "don't even start," "what's the use of it," etc. Even though I’m a grown adult, I know what I’m doing. Or at least, I’d like to believe I do.
So here I am, practically backed into a corner. On one hand, I don’t want to put myself in an awkward position; on the other hand, I shouldn't care what people who have nothing to do with me say. This is when I realize how easily influenced we actually are by others' opinions, and how strong the human instinct and desire to conform really is. We don't even think about it, but at every turn, we're watching who is looking at us and how. What someone thinks of us. What they will say about our actions. Because we have to fit in. In today's world, you can't be "special"... you can't be an "outsider." You have to meet the norm, what the vast majority of society considers acceptable. And if a certain community deems a language useless, then that’s it, you've lost because you're left alone. If another community looks down on you because you're no longer giving them your money, they judge you. Because, after all, what kind of person replaces an acquaintance with a stranger?
How do you all deal with your conscience in situations like this? How do you manage to shut out what others think of you?